Mittal vs. The Williams

Last week at work, I was assigned to find a picture of the infamous Mittal wedding. Unashamedly, I didn't know who or what Mittal was, so I proceeded to Google him. Lakshmi Mittal is the owner of the largest steel-making company in the world. He is also presently the sixth-richest person in the world. His personal wealth is valued at $US31.1 billion. I'm not exactly good at math, but that sounds like a huge amount of money for one person.

Not to fret though, he was generous enough to spend approximately $US55 million on his daughter's wedding - reportedly the most expensive wedding ever recorded in the history of the world. I'd keep my eye out on Forbes in the next week though - apparently the highly anticipated Royal wedding is set to break the mold, and Mittal's extravagant wedding might serve well as a measuring device - whoever spends the most money won't lose face in the Forbes community. And mind you, Indians have a lot of pride and hate to lose face, especially not to some pretty white boy from Wales.

Here is the top 10 list of things Lakshmi Mittal can do to outdo Prince William and the Middleton.

10. Build a 60,000 seat stadium in London and call it Mittal's. This will also make the crown prince of Abu Dhabi's 20,000-seat stadium built for his marriage to the Princess look like child's play.

9. Arrive everywhere in a hybrid Hummer, a la Arnold Schwarzenegger c.1992. Top that you dirty English bugger in your horse-drawn carriage.

8. Invite Isaac Tigrett to the house and get all the dirt on the next avatar of Sathya Sai Baba. Proceed to leak it to the Indian newspapers.

7. Buy over an English football team and make bad decisions.

6. Put the Taj Mittal on eBay and watch people place their bids. When questioned, shrug and say "I was bored."

5. Catch the Bieber fever and boycott the Royal Wedding fever. If the Americans think Justin Beiber is good-looking, they probably don't fancy English lads.

4. Help Black Sabbath sneak past security and get a mosh pit going next to The Choir of Westminister Abbey.

3. Call up Colin Bleasedale and offer him money to make the world's most expensive sorbet, for summer parties.

2. Find out where they're making the ridiculously expensive hats and stick toilet paper in them.

and the number 1. way to top Prince William's Royal wedding -

1. Show up at the Royal wedding with a t-shirt that says "I have more friends on Facebook."